Set 3 - Quarter 4

Computer... Show Me "Girls Kissing"

Helloooooo from SapphicSavvy!

We have officially wrapped up Set 3 with our winners taking home some big prizes last week! Congrats to CASHNOW, the very aptly named winner of the Set! We want to know your strategy because you seem to have a wildly accurate perception of what’s going on in our community. Maybe we should be getting you to write these data dumps, huh? But in the meantime, y’all are stuck with me :)) let’s get into it.

The 12+ Hour Date

Ahh, good times, the vibes are going well, the chemistry is there, y’all are hanging out and having fun and next thing you know, you’ve spent the entire day (and then some) together. It happens to all of us, right? Or more accurately, about half!

Reports across age groups fell just shy of 50% all the way around, with users in their late teens and 20s having slightly lower averages than older counterparts. It seems to be a fairly common experience, and there is still time to experience the magical event of being so caught up in a new person on the first date that you just can’t get enough of them. As always, have fun, stay safe, and stay hydrated if you plan on having a marathon of a first date :)

Now for the interesting part of these results. We had some major deviations by identity group, with queer users reporting the highest average on 12+ hour dates! Is it truly such a crime to be too welcoming, too whimsical, too entrancing that inspires a higher likelihood of a full day together with someone new? Heavy are the heads that wear the crown of marathon dates I suppose 😔👑

Lesbian users had a slightly lower average, sitting right around the 50% mark, which is still way higher than the national average btw (where most people say a first date should last under 3 hours). Lesbian users also had the most accurate perception, with the average guess being pretty much dead on with the average answer.

Bisexual users overshot just a bit, with the average guess being about 12% higher than actual answer. The average was also right around half for what we saw for queer/lesbian users! I’m curious about what makes this number so much lower, so if you’re bi and you have a guess, please let us know!

Computer… Show Me “Girls Kissing”

I think, being in my mid-20s, that I was at the prime age demographic to have looked up girls kissing before coming out. We had a family computer in the “computer room” growing up where I had semi-supervised access to The Internet, but nothing can come between a curious budding lesbian and early google image searching. Except maybe her internet search history.

Indeed, younger users overwhelmingly reported searching up girls kissing online before coming out. I knew I was among friends. This trend of young users outshining older users on this question makes sense given we grew up with the advent of the internet, thereby making us more likely to use this wondrous tool over our older counterparts. I do wonder what the equivalent was before the internet became so vast. Movies? Magazines? Or good old-fashioned empirical research (making out with women yourself)?

We saw pretty even numbers across all identity groups, which I think also makes sense. Searching up terms like “Am I gay?” have increased by a whopping 1300% over the past 20 years, so it feels safe to say that we intrepid early scientists were conducting a lot of research prior to coming out. You can find out so much online, from girls kissing, to where to stream the L word, to how to delete your search history, the internet is your oyster.

Sapphic Bed Death

From early days where you can’t get enough of each other (see the 12+ hour date) to finally becoming more comfortable with one another, this settling into a relationship comes with another shared reality for many sapphics: bed death. It’s very commonly known as lesbian bed death (and we actually have an article about this in our support section!), but it actually affects most of us across identity groups, with over half of users saying they’ve been in a relationship that became sexless over time.

There were no significant differences across guessing or answers by identity groups, it’s just one of those things that happens! It can be due to a multitude of reasons (loss of novelty, medications, sexual scripts, stress, etc), and doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something wrong in the relationship. People have a very wide range of sexual drives, but it’s important to communicate with a partner if you are feeling unhappy with the state of the bedroom before it festers.

We did see a trend by age groups, with older users being more likely to report bed death in a relationship. I would think there’s a couple of major reasons for this, the first being that older sapphics have had more time to be in long-term relationships, which is when bed death becomes more common. Younger users may not have had major long-term relationships quite yet, therefore lower responses. The second is that sex drives can naturally decrease over time as well, so you may not want to have sex as frequently as you did when you were younger. That being said, these numbers were a little higher than I think most of us were expecting. If you’re experiencing a dearth of sex in your relationship, you’re definitely not alone, and now is a great time to bring it up to a partner if it’s something that’s weighing on you. If you’re content about it, that’s also okay too! Relationship satisfaction is not only measured by the frequency of sex, there’s beauty in a loving relationship in its many other forms too. You do you!

The Consequences

Work hard, play hard, but don’t commit a party foul! We luckily saw pretty low numbers of consequences experienced due to getting drunk or high for our users, but the average was not 0 (it was actually 1.66).

We saw roughly comparable levels for users in their 20s and 30s, with consequences dropping off just a little bit for people 40+. Those millennials know how to party though, I’ll give you that! The guesses for this question were pretty high though in comparison to the average answers, and this is likely due to both misrepresentation in the media of the sapphic party scene, as well as our own memories working against us. We’re more likely to remember events that stand out for some reason, and we tend to forget the more normal nights where we didn’t experience consequences. This can, in turn, lead us to think that those abnormal nights where we (or someone else with us) went a little too hard were more common than they are.

We saw pretty similar trends across identity groups, though queer users reported the highest average answer and guess for this question. If you want to weigh in and tell us why you think this might be, reach out to us on our chat platform!

Ultimately, we want people to be safe and have fun! That can mean taking care of yourself and tracking your state throughout the night to make sure you’re not overdoing it (however you want to define that). There’s also resources for you in case you ever need them to get you help, a ride home, or someone to talk to. We have links for some of these in our app on the support page, and you can always reach out to us and our community if you need to. We love y’all!

That’s all I have for today! Catch you next time :)

XOXO SapphicSavvy

P.S. Some additional links for those inclined:

12+ Hour Dates:

Girls Kissing (Caught you 📸):

Bed Death:

Consequences From Getting Drunk/High:

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